DAY 39: Give up believing that you can't be racist because you have Black, Indigenous or POC friends or family members

Ask any person of colour living, working and playing with white-identified folks, what is the one refrain you wish people would stop saying, and at or near the top of that list is, “I am not racist. I have _________ in my family!”

As we have shared before, we know it can be hard to hear someone say that something that we did or said has created harm for them. That they have had an experience of not being seen in their full humanity. 

And yet, when white-identified people claim that they can’t be racist because they have Black, Indigenous, People of Colour in their family, they are contributing to an erasure of the lived experience of BIPOC folk including that of the BIPOC person in their family. To do this reduces and dismisses the needs of a BIPOC person, usually standing in front of them. 

There is no pass on racism available by association, even blood association to relatives in your family. Racism is systemic. It is perpetuated in countless ways and can be done with or without your intention as a white-identified person. 

So, you can still have a BIPOC person in your family and do racist things. You can give birth to a BIPOC person and do racist things.

TIP: Stop using your relationship with a BIPOC person or relative as a way to avoid learning how you have caused or contributed to harm. Listen and prioritise seeking understanding.  That white-identified people do and say racist things is expected. What one does about that behaviour is what shows character and commitment to anti-racism that creates a world that works for more people, including your BIPOC relatives.