DAY 32: Give up talking so much (if you are white)

One of the main recommendations I got when I first started engaging in Equity, Diversity and Inclusion work was “Don’t talk so much”!  It is harder than it seems and requires effort to disrupt the habit of speaking when we have something to say.

As a white person, the education system and the larger society provided me with many opportunities to speak up and have my ideas and opinions acknowledged and appreciated.  When I raised my hand, I was often called on by the teacher or professor and I was usually allowed to continue to speak for as long as I wanted.  In meetings and group discussions, my voice was welcomed and prioritized, reinforcing the belief that what I say matters.

Unfortunately, many Black, Indigenous and People of Colour have a very different experience, both in the education system and as professionals.  I have several BIPOC friends who have told me that, in school, after years of not being called on when they raised their hand, they stopped trying. If a white student put their hand up they knew the teacher would choose the white student instead of them. And this pattern of prioritizing white voices continued beyond school.  Imagine the impact of years of being overlooked or ignored, in some cases deliberately.  

Because of this different experience, white people are unaware of how much they dominate conversations and often feel subconsciously entitled to having their ideas and opinions heard and considered over those of others.      

TIP:  Whenever you are in a group that includes BIPOC, hold your comments or questions until at least one BIPOC person has spoken.  If you are someone who speaks often and easily in groups, challenge yourself to not speak at all.  See what happens and what you learn from focusing on listening to people with different experiences and perspectives than you.  It can be incredibly rich and rewarding and even relaxing to just take in the wisdom and ideas of others!